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Üdem detachment.

Üdem, near Goch, was the home of 348
SU, another
GCI Unit, and situated close to the Dutch border. I was there from the 16th to the 23rd of September during Exercise Counterpunch and never personally got to control any aircraft the whole
time! It had facilities similar to those at Auenhausen and was being used as an
international centre for this major
NATO exercise. The bunker became quite
crowded and we were tactfully advised that we should perform certain aspects of
our ablutions before going on watch, lest we might overload the sewage system.

Our accommodation was in standard
NATO two storey barrack blocks. It was
the first time I had slept in a barrack room since I was a Cadet at Kirton-in-Lindsey
and it seemed strange to be in one again. In our room were two French Officers,
some Dutch and some Belgian Officers, along with the RAF, about 14 of us in all. We
English, Dutch, and Belgians got on very well together. The French, in their fancy
embroidered kepis, stuck to their own language, would not mix, held themselves
aloof and looked down their large Gallic noses while doing precisely nothing useful
during the whole time they were there. Worse, one of them was a sleepwalker who
woke most of us up at least twice during our stay. On one of his somnambulations
he walked down the room, penis in hand, and headed straight for my bed. Not
wanting a shower of that sort, I leapt up and steered him out of the door. Where he
got to I don't know. His bed was still empty in the morning.

Üdem was a mixed Unit. It had a normal complement of WRAFs and, for the
exercise, a small number of Volunteer Reserve WRAF Fighter Control Officers were
drafted in as part of their summer camp obligations. One of the reasons I did not
officially control aircraft myself was because, as an experienced controller, I was
given the task of supervising two of these ladies when they were allocated aircraft.
One, I remember well, was a Flight Officer in her late 30s.
1 When she was allocated a
pair of fighters I had to sit by her in the control cabin. She was very nervous, and
told me so. I first identified and took over the aircraft while she watched. They were
two NF11s. Our call sign was 'Bedmate'. Handing control over to her, as was usual
she called "(aircraft call sign) this is Bedmate how do you read me?" The reply came
loud and clear "Strength five darling, I hope I don't suffer a Bent Weapon". I
grabbed the microphone and replied sternly "This is Bedmate, keep the
R/T
standard". The poor lady couldn't cope. The mixed cabin crew were in stitches, and it
took me a moment or two to restore order. I then gave the aircraft a course to steer
to keep them occupied. I turned to the lady and, because the safety of aircraft was
involved, stressed to her that Bedmate was only a call sign, and she had better
ignore its meaning for the purpose of fighter control. Steeling herself, she continued
the session and concluded several very satisfactory
PIs with almost no guidance
from me.

While I was at Üdem there was an Asian 'flu pandemic. The Station
MO realised that if anyone succumbed and was working in the crowded environment
underground, the 'flu would spread quickly, to the point that the operational
efficiency might be severely compromised and, when the exercise was over and we
all returned to our bases, we stood a good chance of carrying the virus there, with
similar potential consequences. To this end he had everyone on the camp - domestic
and tech sites - take two large tablets the size of small marbles, three times each day.
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1 Flight Officer = nowadays a Flight Lieutenant.
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