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45
Üdem detachment.

1px-trans.gif, 43 bytesÜdem, near Goch, was the home of 348 SU, another GCI Unit, and situated close to the Dutch border. I was there from the 16th to the 23rd of September during Exercise Counterpunch and never personally got to control any aircraft the whole time! It had facilities similar to those at Auenhausen and was being used as an international centre for this major NATO exercise. The bunker became quite crowded and we were tactfully advised that we should perform certain aspects of our ablutions before going on watch, lest we might overload the sewage system.
1px-trans.gif, 43 bytesOur accommodation was in standard NATO two storey barrack blocks. It was the first time I had slept in a barrack room since I was a Cadet at Kirton-in-Lindsey and it seemed strange to be in one again. In our room were two French Officers, some Dutch and some Belgian Officers, along with the RAF, about 14 of us in all. We English, Dutch, and Belgians got on very well together. The French, in their fancy embroidered kepis, stuck to their own language, would not mix, held themselves aloof and looked down their large Gallic noses while doing precisely nothing useful during the whole time they were there. Worse, one of them was a sleepwalker who woke most of us up at least twice during our stay. On one of his somnambulations he walked down the room, penis in hand, and headed straight for my bed. Not wanting a shower of that sort, I leapt up and steered him out of the door. Where he got to I don't know. His bed was still empty in the morning.
1px-trans.gif, 43 bytesÜdem was a mixed Unit. It had a normal complement of WRAFs and, for the exercise, a small number of Volunteer Reserve WRAF Fighter Control Officers were drafted in as part of their summer camp obligations. One of the reasons I did not officially control aircraft myself was because, as an experienced controller, I was given the task of supervising two of these ladies when they were allocated aircraft. One, I remember well, was a Flight Officer in her late 30s.1 When she was allocated a pair of fighters I had to sit by her in the control cabin. She was very nervous, and told me so. I first identified and took over the aircraft while she watched. They were two NF11s. Our call sign was 'Bedmate'. Handing control over to her, as was usual she called "(aircraft call sign) this is Bedmate how do you read me?" The reply came loud and clear "Strength five darling, I hope I don't suffer a Bent Weapon". I grabbed the microphone and replied sternly "This is Bedmate, keep the R/T standard". The poor lady couldn't cope. The mixed cabin crew were in stitches, and it took me a moment or two to restore order. I then gave the aircraft a course to steer to keep them occupied. I turned to the lady and, because the safety of aircraft was involved, stressed to her that Bedmate was only a call sign, and she had better ignore its meaning for the purpose of fighter control. Steeling herself, she continued the session and concluded several very satisfactory PIs with almost no guidance from me.
1px-trans.gif, 43 bytesWhile I was at Üdem there was an Asian 'flu pandemic. The Station MO realised that if anyone succumbed and was working in the crowded environment underground, the 'flu would spread quickly, to the point that the operational efficiency might be severely compromised and, when the exercise was over and we all returned to our bases, we stood a good chance of carrying the virus there, with similar potential consequences. To this end he had everyone on the camp - domestic and tech sites - take two large tablets the size of small marbles, three times each day.
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1 Flight Officer = nowadays a Flight Lieutenant.
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